Back to School Week: How was your day dear?
by Jennifer Cooper, posted on August 24th, 2010 in Ideas and Inspiration
Okay, so I’ve done some things to prepare my kids for the new school year. School supplies were purchased, we avoided negative talk about the upcoming school year, hung a paper chain to build excitement and celebrated the new year with a back to school meal.
Now with all this bubbling enthusiasm, it’s easy to get a bit anxious about school.
Here’s how I imagine greeting my kids on their return from the first day:
The bus pulls up. Enthusiastic inquisition begins. “How was your day dear?” “Did you make any new friends?” “Do you like your new teacher?” “Huh? Huh? Huh?”
Then I open the door to a nutritious after-school treat over which my children continue to share the a play by play of their day. Excitedly they exclaim, “We can’t wait to go back tomorrow!”
SCREECH!
That’s intense. Even for me. And talk about transferring anxiety. If my kids weren’t anxious about school before, they certainly would be now. Yikes!
So what can you do to bridge the gap between home and school?
First, you wait. Whenever someone transitions from work to home (and let’s face it, school is work) they need a period of time to decompress, relax. A real change from work mode to home mode. Give the kids at least 30 minutes of free time. They can have a snack, run around outside or even *gasp* watch a short tv show.
Then when you do tackle the subject of the school day, avoid interrogating. Rather, ask a few specific questions to see if you can get them talking. The goal is to have them share what they think is important. It’s easy to get what the teacher thinks is important by contacting him or her. For now, it’s about the kids.
Also, really listen. This is extremely challenging sometimes for me. It’s easy to want to jump in and solve the problem or respond globally to statements like, “I don’t like school!” with, “You don’t hate school.” But these are great times to ask follow up questions: “What could you do when Sally says she’s not your friend?” or “What happened to make you feel that way?” You’ll find that in most cases, there is a specific thing that happened. Once they’ve worked through it, things will seem much more manageable to your child.
When you talk to your kids about school, you’re doing more than just finding out about their day. You’re offering them the chance to identify problems and develop their own solutions (hello creative thinking!), encouraging stability while letting them express their point of view, and showing them there is a continuum between home and school. It’s when kids feel confident, connected and supported that creativity flourishes.
Now let’s hear from you! What are some of your tips or techniques for getting your kids to talk about school?
Want more? For an excellent list of tips on getting your kids talking about school, visit PBS.org.
Tina Says:
While we sit around the dinner table, we each share a High and Low (and my kids added a Middle in there) about our day. Not only are the children opening up about their days, but hearing that Mommy and Daddy also have super days along with some rough days helps them, too 
Jennifer Cooper Says:
Sarah Says:
