Bringing Up Baby | The Friendship Shift
The funny thing (or I should say, one of the many funny things) about having a baby is that after the fact, your relationships change. You think there is no way that would ever happen with you and your circle of friends but the truth is, your life is shifting in a huge way now with a baby in the picture, so naturally the dynamic of your relationships are going to feel that shift a little bit. I have both close friends with babies and close friends without.
Naturally, I felt closer with my girlfriends who were also mothers once my daughter arrived and more distant from my friends who were childless and I hated that. One of my very closest friends does not yet have any children and I absolutely did not want the fact that I now have a daughter to have a negative affect on one of my most treasured friendships. Very early on in my daughter’s life I could feel this shift and vowed to intentionally do my best to keep the same dynamics in my friendships as before my baby was born. These were the few, very simple things that worked for me:
1. Call weekly to see how your friends are doing. Exciting things (or not so exciting but still worthy of hearing about) are still going on in your friends’ lives.
2. Your childless friends don’t care about nap schedules and breast feeding. Unless they ask don’t constantly talk about it with them. It’s okay to mention those things as part of your day but remember you have other things going on besides feeding your baby too :)
3. Grab drinks with friends. It’s okay to sneak away from your babe for an hour or two. Let dad be on duty an evening every couple weeks so you can catch up with girlfriends sans baby.
Hope these are just some simple reminders that having a baby changes things yes. But it does not have to affect every aspect of your life. Anything else you would add?