Archive for the ‘marriage’ Category

Together: A Letter Writing Journal for People in Love

Monday, April 11th, 2016

togetherness journal

We recently redecorated our bedroom after many, many, many years of needing it. We finished the kids’ rooms but you know how it is when it comes to something for you—it’s usually something that can wait.

During the redesign, I found a stack of old love notes Dave and I wrote to each other when we were in our teens. The letters were filled with “I love you so so so much.” It was the analog version of a row of heart-eyed emojis. Dave and I cringe-laughed as we read them. One of the letters was even written on the back of a page of defensive driving notes from my driver’s ed class. Ha!

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Marriage | Division of Labor

Thursday, March 14th, 2013

marriage - division of labor

A new study from the Pew Research Center came out today looking at the roles of mothers and fathers as they balance work and family.

Here are some nuggets:

-Roughly equal shares of moms and dads (about 50%) say they have trouble juggling work and family life
-Fathers have nearly tripled their time with children since 1965.
-Fathers’ time spent doing household chores has more than doubled since 1965 (from an average of about four hours per week to about 10 hours). Mothers’ time doing housework has gone down significantly over the same period (from 32 hours per week to 18).

I know this is true for Dave and me. I think we split the household chores fairly evenly and Dave spends a good deal of time with the kids.

What did you think of the report? Does it reflect you and your partner accurately?

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Marriage | Date Nights Gone Wrong

Tuesday, January 22nd, 2013


When I started this marriage column, I wanted it to be honest. So we’ve talked about our perfect date night, but what about the imperfect? Cause we all know it happens, right?

My last date night with Dave ended rather poorly. Things started out great. We had actually gone out—in contrast to our typical date night involving take out and movie watching on the couch. We laughed over drinks and then we sat down at our table.

But then the conversation turned unexpectedly—some silly disagreement I’m sure, like who starred in some obscure tv show or movie. It just kind of snowballed from there. Were we tired? Probably. Were our expectations too high? Maybe. Were we carrying around some petty resentment (like who keeps leaving dirty dishes in the sink rather than put them in the empty dishwasher)? Who knows.

What I do know is this: it stinks when date night goes wrong.

What about you? Ever have a bad date with your partner?

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Marriage | The Perfect Date Night

Wednesday, January 9th, 2013

Nothing changes dating your partner quite like having kids. Before kids, you could go out, have a drink, eat dinner, catch a movie, go dancing, have an uninterrupted conversation, and not have a care in the world. Post kids, you have schedules to coordinate, babysitters to pay, exhaustion to battle.

I’ve noticed my ideal date night has changed since becoming a parent. My current fantasy involves sending the kids to their grandparents for the night and having a quiet dinner at home, then sleeping in the next morning. Sigh.

How about you? Has your perfect date night changed after having kids?

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Marriage | A Christmas Eve Story

Monday, December 24th, 2012

Dave and I have been together a long time. Twenty years as a matter of fact. When you spend that much time with someone, there’s a ‘sharing of the minds’ thing that happens. It can be incredible. It can also be a bit of a pain. Take, for instance, when you’re trying to do some Christmas shopping.

Dave and I have been listening to a new-to-us artist for a few weeks now. Knowing Dave is a musician at heart, I thought an album of this artist’s music would be the p-e-r-f-e-c-t gift. Earlier this week, I went to our local record shop to pick up a copy. No luck. Since it’s Christmas, I put in a little effort and called around. This record was an elusive little devil. Eventually, I found one. One. There was only one store who had it and they had only one copy left.

On Friday, I was scheduled to volunteer in Ellie’s class. I had a window of time between volunteering and meeting Dave for lunch. I needed to get that record. After volunteering, I left the school, drove across town, parked the car, ran into the shop and headed straight to the record.

And then, a familiar voice behind me said “Whatcha looking for?”

It was Dave. At the same shop. At the same time. In a far-off part of town. Doing his Christmas shopping for me. (more…)

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Twelve Years

Tuesday, May 8th, 2012

This weekend, Dave and I celebrated our wedding anniversary with a spur of the moment trip to New York City. We walked, dined, and attended a workshop about filmmaking. Attending a workshop on one’s anniversary? Nerdy? Probably. Us? Very. We are that couple. We might as well just own it. Ha! (more…)

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