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Leaping

by , posted on July 11th, 2011 in Parenting



 

Do you remember what age you were the first time the saying “look before you leap” made complete and total sense to you?

I don’t know what age I was, but I know it must have happened at some point. Lately, that phrase has been rolling around my head as I enter a new phase of parenting.

I thought about it when my daughter walked to her friend’s house by herself for the first time and when my son jumped off this ledge. Logically, I knew there was very little danger. My brain ran a risk assessment and determined the odds were my daughter would be fine crossing a neighborhood street by herself and my son would not end up with a broken leg.

My head may have run the figures, but my heart still skipped a beat.

 

 

This parenting gig is hard and full of risks, isn’t it? I don’t know if I would have believed someone if they tried to tell me beforehand what I was getting myself into. I am rather ridiculously stubborn that way.

I took the risk of having a baby. I ended up with an emergency cesarean and a run-in with depression. I took the risk of having another and ended up feeling like I had completely lost my identity. I took the risk of starting a business so I could stay home with my kids and what happened? One of the greatest economic downturns in modern history.

And yet, I would do all of those things again in a heartbeat. There would be no hesitation. I would absolutely leap.

Tomorrow, I’m sure the kids will find something new to jump off of or into. I’ll hold my breath and my heart will skip a beat. But I will not stop them. Instead, I’ll cheer them on if they land and be there if they fall.

Because the truth is, I can’t teach them everything. Some things, they just have to learn on their own.


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Comments

12 Responses to “Leaping”

  1. Stephanie Says:

    July 11th, 2011 at 10:17 pm

    It is SO hard but, clearly, you’re going a great job.

    [Reply]

    Jennifer Cooper Reply:
    July 12th, 2011 at 1:07 am

    Thank you Stephanie. It’s strange parenting the stage of pretty independent kids. I don’t necessarily miss the old stage, even though it was great while it lasted, but it still catches me by surprise some days.

    After so many years of doing everything for them, they’re able to do so many things themselves.

    [Reply]

  2. Orange Jeep Dad Says:

    July 12th, 2011 at 9:26 am

    Wonderfully illustrated. I know exactly what you mean. Raised as an only child, raising six girls is a constantly evolving risk-assessment. I have chosen to control as much of their risks as possible knowing full well that someday, I’ll have no control at all.

    Nice work!

    [Reply]

    Jennifer Cooper Reply:
    July 12th, 2011 at 2:22 pm

    Thanks Orange Jeep Dad. A friend once told me, “parenting ain’t for wussies.” I don’t know if truer words were ever spoken.

    [Reply]

  3. johnwaire Says:

    July 12th, 2011 at 2:34 pm

    so so true…although i fear it will age me tremendously in the process :)

    [Reply]

    Jennifer Cooper Reply:
    July 12th, 2011 at 3:02 pm

    Why yes. I do believe my hair has gone gray because of it. ha!

    [Reply]

  4. Jeff Bogle Says:

    July 12th, 2011 at 2:48 pm

    Great thoughts. You’re so right, even the stuff that seemed terrible along the way got you to the place you are today and that’s a great thing in the end. And there is so much kids have to figure out/learn on their own. We build the foundation, they build the building.

    [Reply]

    Jennifer Cooper Reply:
    July 12th, 2011 at 3:03 pm

    “We build the foundation, they build the building.” Beautifully said Jeff, and such a fantastic way to look at it.

    [Reply]

  5. Mithi Says:

    July 12th, 2011 at 3:29 pm

    What a great post Jen. I was brought up VERY risk averse by my parents. Never even allowed/learnt to cycle or swim incase I injured myself … I am determined not to let that happen if and when we manage to have kids of our own. I know it will be hard and my heart will skip many beats, but like you said – some things can only be learnt by themselves. I love Jeff’s “We build the foundation, they build the building.”

    [Reply]

    Jennifer Cooper Reply:
    July 12th, 2011 at 4:02 pm

    Thanks Mithi! Oh, that must have been stressful as a kid. Are your parents still pretty risk averse or have they mellowed with age?

    and p.s.
    You and Drew are going to be amazing parents. xo

    [Reply]

  6. Chantale Says:

    July 13th, 2011 at 1:01 am

    I think this also illustrates what a strong and amazing person you are Jen. Whoa, a total risk taker and business woman! I’m a total whuss compared to you. There are some things where I encourage my 6yo to just go for it and others where, I just can’t seem to let go but she wants me to. Most days, I don’t even know what the f I’m doing! But like you, I want her to go out there and figure some things out for herself. And Jen, seriously, you *are* amazing!

    [Reply]

    Jennifer Cooper Reply:
    July 13th, 2011 at 3:29 am

    Bless you, wonderful woman, you.

    Honestly, I don’t think any of us know what the f we’re doing, so you’re in great company!

    It’s a dance with our children, isn’t it? Sometimes they want us to let go before they’re ready. Sometimes we let go too late. And other times? Well, we both end up stepping on each other’s toes.

    [Reply]

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