The School Years | The Power of a Good Geek Out

by Kirsten Nilsen, posted on January 3rd, 2013 in Parenting

My 10 year old counted down days until the release of Les Misérables this Christmas. She and her best friend had spent November and December memorizing song after song from the original Broadway score.

I debated whether she was old enough. There are some pretty weighty concepts in that thar’ Broadway show: redemption, grace, revenge, class warfare, martyrdom to a revolution. So really, pretty much like High School Musical.

I bought the tickets. We scrunched down into our seats, and as the first driving notes crashed through the theater, she leaned over and whispered “Mom? Does this have a happy ending??” “Oh yeah, Sweetie,” I whispered back. “so happy.”

I then spent the next two and a half hours watching my girl teeter on the edge of adolescent awareness, the precise boundary of that liminal space between girl and grownup. Should I have thought to explain the song “Lovely Ladies” and its prostitutes beforehand? Most definitely. Did I need to warn her that her favorite character, the loveable beggar boy Gavroche, gets shot down at the barricades? No.

I watched as she covered her head fully with her winter coat in the scariest of battle scenes. Hugged her close as the tears streamed down her face at the death of Gavroche. At the end, the movie finishes with a beautiful scene of Jean Valjean realizing the worth of his life, and urging his daughter to go love her new husband fully and freely. It was my turn for tears to flow. My sensitive, intuitive girl leaned over to me and muttered skeptically “soo….Mom. This is the happy ending you were talking about?”

For me, that was all of it in one sentence. She is ten. She’s delighted to share in my geeky love of Broadway shows, happy to belt out choruses to our hearts’ content in the car, thrilled to get an afternoon of mom to herself. I had a glimpse of all that we might share as she gets older, the first glimmers of her passions and joys. And…she is ten. A scene of reconciliation and redemption at death’s door isn’t supposed to thrill her like a scene of a revolutionary crushing on the rich girl. The thrill of brave boys on the barricade will surprise and delight her.

You may not geek out over Broadway shows. For you and your kids it might be European football, collecting Beatles LPs or robotics championships. But with these rapidly changing kids, the magic is that daily you get to see the pieces clicking into place, you feel the questions brimming on their lips, you sense the ah-ha moments happening. It’s just as exciting as watching them take first steps, or learn first words, or sleep through the night.

Fine: not as thrilling as sleeping through the night. Nothing ever is.

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4 Responses to “The School Years | The Power of a Good Geek Out”

Bhek Says:
January 3rd, 2013 at 2:00 pm

Bravo Ma’am! As you know we have a Broadway Geek in our home as well. Watching both mine become has been the best adventure ever and the best part is that it is just starting. Actualizing their passions is proof positive that you have SHOWN (not told) them how to live and their is more than hope for what and who they will be. Rock on Mom!

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Mrs. Pear Tree Says:
January 3rd, 2013 at 2:01 pm

My kids, who are still not school age, have been subjected to the soundtrack so many times, they almost know it by heart. Since my obsession with this musical revived with the release of the movie, they’ve been going around the house, singing Castle in a Cloud and Little People. I went to see Les Mis with my 18 yr old niece, who so innocently sang, “lovely ladies come along and join us when she was three years old. It heightens the emotion to share something you care about with someone you love.

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erin//suchsmallsteps Says:
January 3rd, 2013 at 2:40 pm

Oh, I loved this! My oldest is only 6 and I know the older she gets, the more important it will be to share interests with her, hers or mine. Beautiful piece :)

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Debbi Says:
January 3rd, 2013 at 10:11 pm

I couldn’t agree more! My twin daughters are 15 1/2 and LOVE musical theater so much that I hear show tunes sung in the mornings while getting ready for school more often than One Direction! Not a bad way to start the morning….especially at 5:45a.m.! I was a nerd growing up…..marching band, scrawny, mousey brown hair, loved scify literature and played a fair share of D&D games. But at some point late in high school something clicked and it all worked for me. I wasn’t the most popular girl by a long shot, but I was friendly with a lot of different people, and I embraced my nerdness. My main goal as a parent is not to raise kids with perfect grades or to be super athletes, but to raise them to be empathetic and understanding of others, and to be true to themselves and their convictions. The best way for me to do this is to lead by example. I still have friends from all walks of life of varying ages with a menagerie of interests and I make time for them whether for fun or to lend a hand and these friends accept that I am a nerd at heart! My daughters see this and are learning to be true to themselves. We geek out together over Dr. Who episodes and Scify channel shows in between listening to a wide range of music interests and yes, belting out show tunes in the car on the way to the local Coach and Vera Bradley Outlet! One daughter is a cheerleader(shocker to me, but she blows that stereotype to bits), they both are active in school musicals/theater and we all Irish Dance together. We have a solid mother/daughter relationship and I treasure every minute! Don’t get me wrong, Leave it To Beaver we are not……especially with two strong minded teenage girls in the house, but I’m still waiting for the time when they push me away that everyone claims is inevitable. Instead, I get the opposite. I am gently reprimanded by one daughter for failing to give the “daily huggie” when we are all home at the end of the day(a tradition since preschool), and I always have a snuggler on the sofa under the blankets with me after dinner. And apparently I’m a cool mom! Take that mean girls :)
So keep geeking out with your kids……no matter what the activity is! It’s the time together and meaningful teachable moments that make the world of difference in a kids life no matter how young or old they are!

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