Story Time: Fun Run

The Adventures of The Fox and The Polar Bear

by Mr Tom and Mrs Emily, posted on August 4th, 2010 in The Sports Issue

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If it were purely down to speed and practice, there would be no contest. Mrs PB’s fast during short distances, and has an amazing habit of popping out of nowhere but in an ordinary race, Mr Fox would win every time.

However Mr Fox and Mrs PB’s annual fun run is far from ordinary.

This is because there are practically no rules.  In fact, as long as they start at the same time, don’t use any vehicles and don’t break any laws, whoever crosses the finishing line first wins.  This has led to both some interesting, and spectacular outcomes.

After Mr Fox’s heroic victory last time leveling the score at two wins a piece, this year’s mile long destruction derby was building up to be a corker.

For Mrs PB it was a grudge match she had to win.

As Mr Fox warmed up on the starting line, Mrs PB prepared herself by shrieking louder and louder. Worried no-one would be able to hear the starting pistol over all the noise, the umpire had to wait for her to calm down before he could pull the trigger.

“CRACK”

They were off.

For Mr Fox, the first few meters were crucial. If he could get far enough away, he might be able to avoid having his tail trodden on, a move that had cost him the race twice before.

This time it looked as if he was going to make it.  He was pulling away and nearly a tail ahead when due to a well placed paw, he suddenly came lurching to a halt.

Before he knew what was happening, Mrs PB had climbed over him and taken a substantial lead. The crowds roared.

Fortunately for Mr Fox, Mrs PB was now coming to the section of the race through a field of tall grass.  At a disadvantage due to her somewhat ‘dubious’ navigational skills, Mr Fox was able to narrow the gap.

It was nose and nose.

Not quite as fast as usual, Mr Fox wasn’t able to pull away and Mrs PB seemingly powered by bean fuelled grunts, was never far behind.

As they reached the final furlong, the race was still wide open.

The river on the side of the course raised the stakes. It had helped end the race in Mrs PB’s favour twice before.

As she stomped on Mr Fox’s tail again, it looked like the same tactics were going to work, but somehow he was able to stop himself from falling in.

But as the finishing line edged closer, it didn’t seem to matter he hadn’t been cast overboard. Her nose was about to cross the line……. when she came screeching to a halt.

“Beans?”

The crowd finally found out why Mr Fox had been running slower than normal.

Underneath his singlet, he’d been carrying a can of beans.  He hadn’t wanted to use them, but brandishing the tin didn’t feel entirely unjustified considering what had happened to him!

Besides, was it really his fault if Mrs PB chose a delicious can of beans over victory!?

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